Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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