Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
