I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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