Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
