So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everclear isn't food dammit
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
