epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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