Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
