I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize