think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
