that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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