I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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