the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
