Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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