You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
