You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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