I am spending my child support on dildos
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
