Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
