could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
