It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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