How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
A+ Viking dick
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
