so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
