just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
