it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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