part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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