that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
