he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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