Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this will be a night to untag.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
