I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
