Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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