I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was like his penis was on wheels.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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