How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
