so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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