What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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