Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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