So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And then my night got REAL pukey
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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