2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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