i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
