The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
