I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
