I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize