Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
