I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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