Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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