Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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