also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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