Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
