You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
