Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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