yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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