I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize