if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
