You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
