just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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