Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
