Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
