I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
