His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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