Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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