He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Come see our sink grown plant.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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