What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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