And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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