i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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