I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
