There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
