Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize