God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
