If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
