he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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