Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
